No show for Miles and me this Wednesday.
First though I want to talk about today...I rode him in the blistering heat, and he was lovely, lovely, lovely. It was our second ride using the English Hackamore, and I think it's safe to say we are a fan. I'm not giving up on riding with a bit, but I'm going to stick with the hackamore for another week or so and see how things go. It's a piece of equipment that really is No Joke, as far as how harsh it can be, so I have to be careful with it, but so far so good. Anyway, our ride was short but really awesome. He was so happy and relaxed, his cute little ears flopping to the side and occasionally twitching back to listen to my babble. I asked him to be Forward Pony, and in return we would quit after 15 minutes; he was happy to oblige. Dammit, I was so proud of him.
But I can't do the show. Too many things are coming at me at once, all rightnow! rightnow! and I can't put them off or ignore them. Mostly it's really boring crap you all have no interest in hearing and I have even less interest in describing. They're all related to money, and car-leases being up, and the other car being in the shop, and work going bananas, and the husband going out of town, and wtf do I do with the dogs, and did I mention the heat? Yeah, we're looking at 90 degrees tomorrow and Wednesday. I just can't do it all right now. It pisses me off and makes me sad and fills me with relief all at once. Yes, I know it's just a "Fun Show", but it's still a show, our FIRST show, and I'm going to be nervous no matter what. I'd rather be able to focus all my energy on it and have butterflies because we are making our showing debut, and not have this be something I'm anxious about because I've got 10 other things on my mind. Shows, especially fun shows, should be, ahem, FUN and not just something else I need to squeeze in before I have to do something else. Or feel guilty about because I should be doing something else, or spending the money on something else, or or or....
The only thing I can take comfort in is that none of these reasons are related to Miles' and my progress. I'm so, so, so proud of my boy. Working towards this silly little show in the last couple weeks has really brought out the best in both of us, I think.
So, poo. I know there will be other opportunities, but as I write this I'm struck by how really down about it I am. Sometimes I am utterly perplexed at how much time it takes to do all the stupid shit we have to do just to LIVE (like errands and appointments and oh yeah working hours and hours and hours at a job in order to be able to afford to do what we really want). I'll get over it. Things will calm down. When we finally get out in the show ring, we are gonna kick some serious tail.
Forlorn Miles is Forlorn. Sorry Bubs. It's not you, it's me.
7/6 Update: Okay, honestly, if I had all the time in the world this week I'm still not sure I'd be showing. The forecast just keeps getting hotter and hotter, with a high of 94 today and tomorrow. That's just not safe for doing much outside, let alone riding. I'm thinking the only thing Miles is getting today and tomorrow is a couple of baths. Ugh, Michigan, you are killing me this year!