Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sorrow and Gratitude

We all have challenges in life, yes? If you find your life to be relatively drama and difficulty-free at any given moment, it can change in a heartbeat. This is where I find myself, and this reality is never far from my mind.

Right now, as Thanksgiving approaches, I'm feeling especially grateful and humbled by my life...and I'm trying my damnedest to appreciate it and soak it in as things can change like that-in fact, that kind of change is quite inevitable.

My family and I are relatively healthy. My husband and I continue to be each other's best friend, and no one makes me laugh more when I need it than he does. Today he walked the dogs twice for me and cleaned the entire house-most days he is everything I need in a partner. All of our animals are healthy and happy, and we've finally solved Mojo's mystery illness. Her arthritis continues to progress, but other than that she is a very robust and sturdy 14 year old dog.

Miles, of course, continues to be my comfort and joy. We had the briefest of rides today, as the temperature dropped about 30 degrees in 24 hours. The most fun I had was feeding him his beet pulp and hay cubes, and tucking him into his blanket before turning him out. He totally loves to be pampered and fussed over, and I'm always happy to oblige. After he was done eating he stood in the aisle while I cleaned the last of the mud off him, dressed his hooves and gave him his MTG treatment. His eyelids grew heavy and he was sooooo sleepy and adorable. I can't even describe how much his health and happiness directly affect my own outlook...when I'm at the barn, it's everything to me. On those couple of days a week I don't see him I miss him more and more. Hmmm, maybe it's time to really look at moving to the country. I can't imagine waking up everyday and being able to walk down to the barn and see my boy. It doesn't get much better than that.

These last couple of weeks have been so difficult for some of the people I know and love. Two people I know (either in person or in bloggy land) have or are having to put their much loved horses down-these are "heart" horses, and it's devastating to their owners no matter what the circumstances. Others I know have had to accept that their horse must be retired or semi-retired for the foreseeable future. Some people are struggling with their horse's chronic lameness, unable to ride much or ride at all. Finally, a friend lost her dog to a heart condition last night-totally unexpectedly. My heart breaks for all those suffering...it's so damn unfair and the pain and sorrow can feel overwhelming. Often it leads to depression, where every aspect of life seems impossible. It doesn't get much worse than that.

No one knows why bad things happen to some people and good things happen to others-although I tend to think we all take our turns on the merry-go-round of the highs and lows of life. Many people believe God has a plan for all of us, and even in the midst of great pain there is always a reason for suffering, even if we can't know it. I honestly wish I could believe that...it's much more comforting than believing everything in life is random, and there is no rhyme or reason to bad or good things happening to people. Having said that, I'm not sure there isn't something in the universe-karma, whatever-that ultimately "balances" things out. Who knows.

I suppose this is the ultimate rambling post. Things are going well in my tiny corner of the world, and I recognize how fleeting it may be and am so, so happy and filled with gratitude that things are how they are for me and mine right now. My heart goes out to those who are struggling, hurting, sad, desperate, lonely and angry. I can only hope (and I really believe) things do eventually get better-hours turn into days into weeks into months. The sharp pain turns into a dull ache. Eventually it can disappear altogether, and you will also be feeling gratitude for yourself and your loved ones, for your life, once again.


  1. Very nice post. Happy Thanksgiving.

  2. I'm afraid I might turn into one of those who has recently lost their 'heart' horse. We might end up having to put Lucy down soon... And damn, that mare is my life. I dont know what I would do without her. Her hoof problems have gotten so much worse, yet so much better.... I guess for now, don't stop believing, right?

    Please excuse my lame, depressed-ness. I think I'll go be depressed at my own blog. Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving, despite all the sorrow and sadness. Happy holiday wishes to you all!

  3. I absolutely hate that pets don't live nearly long enough. My sweet little dog Madigan is only five, but she's already getting grey around her "biscuit eater" (mouth), lol. My heart is already breaking for the day that we lose her, which is so darn morbid, but still I just love her like she's my child.

    Your post was very nice and my heart goes out to all of those who are going through those sad experiences. :(

  4. Your post is the essence of being grateful I think...

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, and my thoughts go out to everyone who is struggling at this holiday time :)

  5. Thank you everyone. Happy Thanksgiving!!! I'm also thankful for all of you:)

    Munci, I'm so sorry about your mare. Hugs if you want 'em:)

  6. Happy Tgiving and yes enjoy the good while we can is soooo important. :)