Chamie Goes Boom And Miles Is A Pony

It's raining. It has been raining. It will keep raining. So awesome.

No, no it's not. The mud at the barn (which is not usually a muddy place in most areas) is approaching epic proportions this winter.

Today was especially fun because I got to feed all the horses in the evening. Even with everyone behaving themselves, I was wet and muddy and annoyed afterwards.

It wasn't always so! I got to the barn around 2 pm today in a pretty ok mood, considering I've just weathered the stomach flu and falling down the stairs and bruising my ass in places I never knew could be bruised. I hadn't been out since Sunday, and 2 days in a row of not seeing my ponies is kind of unheard of these days.

Miles was more than his adorable self, cantering through the mud to see me. He was head to hoof disgusting in places not covered by his blanket, and a leeetle pushy, wanting to punish ME because his head was one giant piece of dried mud and he thought I should stand still so he could take care of the situation on my coat.

Chamie was her normal cool, calm, colleted self, except when I went to pull her blanket off. One whole side was covered in mud...not like she had rolled but like she had fallen. Great. Still, she was moving ok and all legs were cool and normal-sized. I decided today was the day we Pony.

After figuring out how to get Chamie's leadrope from the saddle (we tried a couple variations, since I was NOT mounting with her attached to begin with), things went great. I learned that I never ride Miles one handed, since he had no flipping idea what I was doing with the reins at all. Thank god he was listening to my leg aids. I also learned Chamie was not going to be the grump in this situation (I totally thought she was going to revolt at some point being so close to Miles, particularly if he pulled his Hey Baby act). No, Miles was the one putting his ears back and snaking his head. WTF? I can't say he was a bad boy, because he never did anything more than that, but I was astounded that he objected to his lady friend next to him-especially because I know he is used to "being" ponied as a former racehorse. You just never know, do you?

Anyway, I was ultimately really proud of them both, mainly because no one did anything dumb and they more or less listened to me. Unfortunately, even though I had her walking maybe 15 minutes, I noticed Chamie was bobbing her head and limping. Awesome.

I got off, of course. I checked her all over and I *think* it's her left shoulder. It's definitely her left front something. Her leg still seemed cool and ok, but she flinched ever so slightly a couple of times when I ran my hand down that shoulder. Still, no heat anywhere. I gave her some bute and debated leaving her inside tonight, but she has always looked better with a little movement (no matter how little), so I'm hoping I don't get a call from the barn tomorrow morning saying she is 3 legged lame. Poor old girl. FU Mud!

Nope, no pictures, not even one. I just had to put up some kind of post...semi-frequent blogging is a sickness. Someone should really look into it.

So Much For Keeping Them Humble

Well, looky-loo what pretty mare and handsome hunk got their very own story on Susan Salk's Off Track Thoroughbred blog?

Thank you Susan, for thinking our story is worthy of your great audience! I think Miles' head will now be too big for his bitless bridle, and Chamie may have an "I told you so" look in her eye when I see them later today.

Seriously, I love Susan's blog because she finds the story behind every horse (usually an OTTB, so it's a big deal for Chamie to infiltrate the ranks:). And every horse has a story. It is an honor to be featured!

Horse Slaughter...Here We Go

First, Blogger is my enemy and if you have seen 5 different versions of this poorly written post, well...it's out to get me today, apparently. My apologies.

Second, I want to thank Jessica at Spotty Horse News and Natalie at Retired Racehorse for helping me organize my feelings and thoughts around this very ugly and complex issue. Most of this post was written in my comments to their posts. Go read these ladies if you're not already.

Now, in regards to the issue, I am TIRED of hearing this was Obama's decision, and I am super disappointed in many rescue groups I follow on facebook that are laying this legislation in his lap. Whether you are a fan of our President or not, he isn't stupid, and to introduce "horse slaughter legislation" would be a very stupid move, especially because he has stated outright that he is against this practice. The provision was thrown in there by Congress in a HUGE Ag bill, and Obama signed the bill to keep the USDA functioning. Even if he had vetoed the bill (which would be a disaster on way more levels than I care to get into right now), his veto would have been (rightly) overturned. It was a very sneaky move by certain representatives to throw this thing in there on a holiday weekend. OK, there's my one soapbox:)

Politics aside, the other thing we need to look at are "breeding incentive" programs. I'll say it, the AQHA and other stock breed organizations are the worst offenders . There are SOOOO many crap Quarter Horses (and Paint Horses, and to a lesser extent Appaloosas...see a pattern?) being bred out there it's frigging ridiculous...these ranches that churn out hundreds of mediocre or worse foals every year, and then send their "culls" to auction as yearlings, barely handled with shit conformation, make me so angry. There is NO market for these horses...none.

The Thoroughbred industry also has some major soul searching to do. Thankfully, there are a ton of wonderful rescue organizations for OTTBs out there, and TBs as a general rule (though there are ALWAYS exceptions) are bred to win races, so they are athletic and often easy to transition into another riding discipline. Yes, I know this is not always the case, and there are many debates out there about how they are breeding horses with no hoof or whatever, but I've still found the majority of OTTBs as sound or sounder than other breeds, and they were bred to be ATHLETIC, so they can transition to almost any horse sport. Some of the mediocre stock horses being bred? I swear half of them look like they are going to fall on their face if you push them beyond a jog. Yes, I am fully aware my bias is showing right now.

I understand there is a program out there where jockeys can contribute something like one dollar of their individual race winnings to Thoroughbred retirement organizations. Hey, while were at it, why don't we ask grooms to do the same, and exercise riders! ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. How about the frigging OWNERS and big time breeders pony up some cash for these animals that make them boatloads of money?! It would go a long way to rehabilitating the industry's image, that's for sure. And yes, I know there are very successful jockeys...but these athletes deserve every dollar they get for risking their lives in every race. It's time for the people with Real Money to do their part. I know some do...but it needs to be an industry wide standard.

I don't know all the answers. If I really trusted this US to enforce humane methods to slaughter horses, I would say, ok, yes, it's MUCH preferable to forcing these horses to travel thousands of miles to Mexico or Canada to meet their (horrific) ends. However, I don't believe it's possible to slaughter horses humanely on a mass scale, or at least I haven't seen evidence of it. I wish we still had local rendering plants, that would come to your house, put a bullet in the horse's head while they are grazing, and haul the carcass away. Awful? Yes. Humane? YES. It is easy to get self-righteous and say anyone with a horse should have the resources to euthanize said horse humanely. The fact is, however, that horses are the ones that suffer regardless. Many people desperate for money will take old Dobbin to the auction with the hope of getting a couple hundred dollars for him, rather than PAY a vet to euthanize Dobbin for hundreds of dollars out of his pocket that he probably doesn't have. I'm not interested in judging Dobbin's owner...I'm interested in keeping Dobbin from suffering for days or weeks before he is ultimately killed. Perhaps free euthanasia services would give Dobbin's owner an out that is kind to this horse he is fond of or maybe even loves. We should support such efforts-though raising money to kill horses is a tough sell.

I know some organizations are running free or low cost gelding clinics, and I think that's a great start. We HAVE to stop some of these horses from existing in the first place.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we need to look at this from a consumer health standpoint. I believe this is the most convincing argument against slaughter of all...most horses are SO not safe for consumption because of the drugs in their system, particularly TBs who have raced...they are almost guaranteed to have bute and steroids and who knows what else in their system. The same with so many older, unsound horses. Are we going to serve up possibly carcinogenic meat to people, or even carnivorous animals like our dogs or zoo animals? With all these things taken together (and notice not one of my arguments involve flowery language about how horses are noble creatures who have no business being on a dinner plate), HOW can we justify horse slaughter?

Having said all that, this old girl is MY greatest argument against horse slaughter, in the US or anywhere.

Novemberish Musings

I haven't been riding too much in the last week...a couple quick rides on Miles, which have been fine, though nothing of note-of course that boy always leaves a smile on my face, no matter what. He's been extra cute on the ground, just super affectionate and adorable, pushing his big 'ol head into my chest, leaving more slobber streaks than usual in my hair, the works...maybe he's rewarding me for the light work load:) Sorry bubs, that has more to do with hunters in the woods, crappy weather and rock-hard indoor arena surfaces than your bountiful charms. I think I'll let him take the credit though:)

Or maybe he's showing off for a certain lady...or competing for treats and scratches, who can say? I've been working a lot with Miles and Chamie on the ground together, and I have no qualms about leading them together and ponying Chamie off of Miles when the time comes. They are really cute together and I'm so happy my kids don't just tolerate but really seem to enjoy each others' company. If they weren't such opposites on the hard-keeper/air-fern spectrum, they would be great turnout buddies.

Miles is still doing well with the little Arab mare he is out with, but Chamie has a less than warm and fuzzy relationship with LaShore, Miles' old turnout buddy (they have a bromance for sure, and this is the only instance where I've EVER used that "word"). Don't get me wrong, they will graze together and there has been no naughtiness from either party-and I'm super grateful for that. Still, LaShore is "the boss", and Chamie is very cool towards him; I have to stop her from marching right out of the gate (because he wants treatings too!) when I bring her in. If he comes toward us, even innocently (at least it looks that way to this human), her ears go back and she gets out of town, or really wants to. Nevertheless, I know she is happy to be out with a horse at all, and she's got 2 sweet mares on one side of her pasture and Miles and the Arab mare on the other. LaShore really is a sweetheart, and he's not chasing her or being a jerk in any way-they can share the same hay pile and everything. I guess I'm just not used to seeing my girl at the bottom, lolz:) I'll get over it-I know horses don't take these things personally.

Here, have some pictures:

Chamie all bundled up. It's been chilly, but not COLD (by Michigan standards, of course). This day was in the 30's. I'm really trying to keep blanketing to a minimum though-she still goes in a stall at night as well.



First turnout together! In the outdoor arena-of course, Chamie just wanted to go to town on whatever pathetic grass she could get her chompers on. Miles relented, after much spinning and running and showing off-when she barely raised an eyebrow, he sighed, lowered his head, and followed suit. It was pretty hilarious.



Cute Butts!!



More Butts!! I don't know what stance she is doing here-no fluids were forthcoming.



Not the most exciting picture of my boy, but look how BEEFY he is!!! His belly is actually round! And that butt! At this point I'm thinking I may be overly concerned with my horse's bum...and don't even get me started on how gorgeous his coat is. My big, black fake-stud gentleman:)

Check Up On Your Old Horse Day

Yep, I'm making this a thing.

This whole experience with Chamie has taught me so much and given me hours of "what-ifs" to think about.

First of all, as an aside, I've found I don't have an old, sweet pasture pet. I have an old, sweet, getting stronger and sounder by the day mare who still remembers all her aids and gave me a flawless walk-canter transition under saddle on Sunday. The smile on my face didn't leave until my cheeks hurt. She was moving so well on our first ride since she came home I thought, what the hell, let's see if she will do it. She moved out like a dream. I have witnesses, y'all!

Regardless, even if I didn't feel comfortable riding her ever again, I'm so, so glad she's home. She's so frigging happy, you guys-she came cantering to see me at the gate yesterday. Her eyes are bright and she's been moving OUT on the lunge. I found her trot (as opposed to her western shuffle or wev it was she was doing at the old barn). This is after a week of all day turnout...such a difference. She's actually out with LaShore, Miles' best bud-they are both easy keepers and it makes sense while the grass is still out. Miles is with another little arab mare(!) on a much larger, lusher pasture right next door to Chamie and LaShore so he can continue to keep his fine-ass round figure. If you had told me my fake stud could go out with a mare even 6 months ago I would have called you nutty. He truly has become a different horse. A gentleman, you might say.

Digressing over! The real reason I wanted to write this post is because I want to encourage you, since you're reading this, to follow up on an old horse that has made you the equestrian you are today. It doesn't have to be a horse you owned-maybe one you leased or rode in lessons or even just hacked out with casually. A horse that gave you SOMETHING-a horse that touched your life. A horse you have lost touch with. I want you to follow up on them even if you are in no position to take said horse IF such a solution is needed.

If I hadn't kept tabs on Chamie, I don't know that she wouldn't have been put down...in her condition, it actually would not have been the worst thing, either. The thing is, even if I couldn't have taken her, I would had done my damnedest to network and find a home for her, even temporarily. I have enough connections in the community I'm pretty sure I could have found a place.

I wish her barn owners had told me years ago (or whenever shit started to go downhill as far as her care) that she was rotting in a stall all day, every day, even if her owner wouldn't relinquish her just then. I would have gone out at least once or twice a week to groom her, walk her, pay for basic hoof trimmings. I wish I had followed up when they didn't respond to my email a little less than a year ago. I wish I had gone to see her once a year (I always did have a standing invite to do so). I wish I wish I wish.

So, again, I want to challenge all of you to do so. Shoot an email, make a phone call. Make sure the horse that carted you around and taught you how to ride is ok. Make sure that horse that won you your first blue ribbon isn't being neglected. EVEN if you are in no position to do anything financially to help if, god forbid, things are not as they should be. The horse world is filled with caring souls, and most of us are on the interwebs. At the very least, you can do what I would have done had I known, yet not been able to buy Chamie back; visit the horse, give attention and love, and give BACK to these horses that have given us so much. Let the owner know you are HERE, and you care. Even if, hopefully, everything is fine now, it can make all the difference down the road.

I know it's scary. We don't want to know things are not as they should be. It hurts LIKE HELL to find out things are not right. I realize I may sound a little self-righteous writing this..."Lookit me, I saved my old horse, now YOU all do it too!" Please believe me when I say that this has nothing to do with me. One of the things I can't get out of my head are all the other Chamies out there....in far worse condition than she was. Almost every horse (well, ok, the lucky ones) has a person who loved them, learned from them, cared for them, bonded with them. While it shouldn't be up to that person to rescue or help such a horse they haven't seen in years, sometimes there IS no one else.

I'm willing to bet that if you do follow up with your special horse, things are just as they should be-maybe the horse is still in light work, or retired properly, or was given a dignified death; that piece of mind is worth everything. If things are not as they should be? You can always do SOMETHING, however small, to help.

Do it. Do it soon. There is no way you will regret it.

Weeks before Chamie said Peace Out to her old life. I don't see this sad face anymore.

Follow The Leader

Having my two kids, Chamie and Miles, in one barn FINALLY has been so fabulous. Excepting her third night home, when she tried to kill herself by choking on her dry alfalfa cubes (which I had given to her 20 times previously with no issues), Cham has settled in fabulously, and she looks to be healthy and happy.

Two days ago I decided to try leading my two beasts together in hopes that I can start ponying Chamie off Miles during our warm ups and cool downs. I still haven't ridden her since she's been home, but I will-the weather has not exactly been cooperative (SNOW today, cripes). Anyway, it went really well. Miles is interested in her of course, but not disrespectful. When he gets a little too close or lags behind (totally NOT intentional, I'm sure, har har) to sniff her butt, a squeal from Cham and a good tug from me sets him straight. We walked all over the farm and I let them graze side by side, and they were perfect.

Yesterday, the wind was insane, so Miles was quite up and decided to act a fool on a couple of occasions-still, he was kind enough to spook or freak out away from us, which is exactly what he needs to do to keep everyone safe, so I was super proud of him. I'm hoping to try ponying in the next week or so. I found Chamie ties well to the area wall while I work with Miles. My studly thoroughbred, on the other hand? Not a fan. Oh well-something to work on in these dark frigid days. In the Spring, I'm hopeful I can take both my horses down the trail-I think it will give Miles and I both a lot of confidence to have a steady eddy along with us.

In craptastic weather news, I broke down and blanketed both my kids today as it's going to be cold cold cold until Saturday or so. Sigh. Welcome to winter.

No pictures, because I suck. Miles really is ridiculously handsome these days though. He weighs more than he has since I adopted him 2 years ago (one of his girths has stopped fitting!). His coat is black and beautiful. He's moving wonderfully, and I will continue to give all my love to SmartPak's SmartFlex Senior which I think has made a huge difference-Chamie is on it now as well. My farrier is encouraging me to consider shoes for him in the Spring, since he doesn't have a lot of concavity in his feet. Still, I think the Durasole helps, and unless I ride him on gravel he moves wonderfully...I don't know. We will see. I know his feet aren't perfect, but they don't crack, aren't shelly, and his heels and frogs look great. Maybe I'll post some pictures soon to get some opinions.

So, there's my not so exciting update for November. I'm waiting to hear on a job that I had 2 interviews for and I really, really want, so I'm trying to enjoy these days with my ponies while I can. Optimism rules! :)

Home.

My girl is home.

I don't know that I'll ever be able to capture words on screen, or in speech, how awesome today was. From her effortless loading on the trailer (despite her obvious terror...she was shaking when we got her off), to her walking around her new digs, taking a big sigh, and dropping her head. She's already so much happier.

Tiny background Miles looks on forlornly.

My Chirrins are together, finally. She is willing to put up with him if there is food involved. He, as predicted, is fascinated with the older laydee.

What an amazing first day. I turned her out in a small individual pasture for a couple hours after walking around the farm and walking the perimeter of the fence. She paid no attention once she realized she was out and she could graze-I don't think she's grazed off lead in a very, very long time. When I came back, I walked her all over the outdoor and indoor arenas (with all the scary fun-house mirrors) and she was alert but so sweet and trusting. She was looking to me more than ever in this new place for guidance. I left her in her 12 x 14 foot stall (with an awesome window to stick her head out into the aisle and see the other ponies) with a flake of hay, and she seemed just fine. I know she would have rather been outside, but she needs to work up to all day grazing, even with the grass as sparse as it is. Even so, she will be out most of the day tomorrow, I'm pretty sure.

Welcome home, girl. I'm sorry it took so long.

Sweet Beast

I haven't been posting much, and it's really because I've settled into a nice rhythm with my horses. Traveling between 2 barns 25 minutes apart will take up a huge chunk of time, especially when you spend 2 hours at one barn and an hour at the other. Throw 2 dog-walking sessions in there and you have my typical day. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty marvelous.

I will admit though, I have totally slacked on riding Miles until the last 2 days. For some reason, he has decided it's SUPER FUN to roll in wet mud right before I get to the barn. Literally, he has been head to hoof stinktastic. I resorted to hosing him off yesterday (in November!) because he was just that bad, and the weather was a balmy 60 something with sun so I knew he wouldn't be too uncomfortable as long as I threw his cooler on after a good squeegee.

Anyway, today was the most fabulous ride we've had in quite some time. My attentions have been so divided with Chamie that I had forgotten how amazing my boy is at just about anything I ask him to do. I took him on a loooong trail ride today with 2 awesome ladies from my barn-we have such a great group of boarders right now! Afterward, there was just enough juice left in our tank to hop over a few cross-rails....here's a link:

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2253436536456

Honestly, though, the trail ride was my favorite part. He really, really loves getting out. It's nerve-wracking for me, because I wouldn't say he's relaxed during these rides...his head is constantly turning this way and that, and today he had a few spook-and-scoot episodes, which were really no big deal. He's not a dead-head, which is of course good, but he has an electricity running through his body that is so visceral, I'd have to be dead not to feel it. It's exciting and thrilling, and it's obvious he is having So. Much. Fun. I feel that too:) He's a bold boy and marches right along-woe to those who hold him back. He's in tune to everything around him, from the horses to the wind and reacts in kind, which can be scary. I think I'm learning, though, that his "reactions", such as they are, are nothing I can't sit, and he's not going to bolt or buck or even pull one of those horrid sideways-spooks that leaves you behind.

What I'm trying to say is, he's the best. I just have to be a good enough rider not to hold his natural self back.

In Chamie news, my old girl is coming home on Friday! It feels like Christmas is right around the corner.

What Does a Dollar Buy?

What does this buy?

How about...

or...

or how about this cutie?

If this doesn't sell you, I saddled up my (!) 26 year old mare, put Cavallo Simple Boots on her front feet, and rode my girl for the first time in about 10 years. 20 minutes of walking, circles, and serpentines, and about 30 seconds of jogging...the most sit-able trot I've ever felt. After good supplements, months of turnout, and *very* light work, I think I'm going to have a very nice trail horse on my hands. I couldn't believe, after all these years, how soft and responsive she was, moving her ribcage over when I asked, bending, and did I mention responsive.

I'm pretty sure I just got the deal of a lifetime, and that was the best dollar I ever spent. Especially because her barn (whom her scum owner signed her over to) donated that dollar back to her care. That's one dollar bill that won't be spent. Everyone should have a Chamie in their lives. I'm someone lucky enough to have her twice, and she's not going anywhere ever again without me.

I've won the horse lottery, you guys. My dream thoroughbred and my angel, saintly first horse...pinch me. Hard.

The Road to Health is Paved one Day at a Time

OK, I promise I'll get back to Miles and riding and blah blah soon (I am still getting out to work with him regularly, no matter how much it's killing me to drive between two barns). Right now, though, I'm so excited about my new old mare I could burst!

Yesterday she got her feet trimmed for the first time in 3 months. I am a scatterbrain and didn't get after pics, but I'll try. The farrier didn't touch her back feet because he said she didn't have much to work with. I thought that was kind of strange, but I'm not worried because my farrier will see her this month as well, and her real discomfort is obviously in her front feet. Also? He trimmed her free of charge, not only for the last 9 months but yesterday as well. He said he was so happy to see her with a light in her eyes again and someone attending to her that I shouldn't worry about it. You guys, I could not make this up; he said 8 or 9 months ago she looked like a horse that was giving up and wanted to die, which is why he started trimming her for free. On top of being confined to a stall with no movement she was in enormous pain. Thank god for people like him that work with horses. He's getting a Christmas card, at the very least. Thank you, Kurt, for helping my girl keep fighting.

Today Chamie had her first vaccines in 5 years. The vet took a fecal sample so we can worm her a little more strategically. She had a coggins pulled, and she has an appointment tomorrow to get her teeth floated (they are BAD, y'all. She needs sedation, power tools, the whole bit).

The most exciting things are that 1) I'll be signing papers tomorrow that make her officially mine. Apparently until YESTERDAY her worthless owner (who has a Ph.D., for chrissake) was still dragging his heels about agreeing to sign her over. I would have taken that MoFo to court, believe. Luckily, it's not coming to that.

The other exciting thing is that, literally, every day I go out to work with my girl I see an improvement in her. The very first day, last Thursday, she was a pill. She couldn't have cared less I was there and just wanted out of her stall/barn. Since then, she has made such progress. Her eyes are relaxed, deep brown and soft. She has been sighing and licking her lips constantly in the last few days. I don't have to cross tie her to groom her-she stands willingly on one tie. She picks up and holds each foot for me instead of fighting me. She is more in tune to me and looks to me to see what we're doing each day, rather than looking beyond me to see what's out there. She licks my hand, my coat. She is finally happy.

Every time I see the barn manager she tells me how different she looks-how alert and interested, yet content. She doesn't pin her ears any longer. She holds her head up. I love these updates, as much as they make me sad to know how miserable my girl has been. The Chamie I knew years ago never pinned her ears at people, even in her most mare-ish moments.

I lunged her today in the indoor arena because it has been raining literally ALL day, and it still is. After a fresh trim she is striding right out, and the very, VERY brief trot I asked her to give me she did so willingly and it looked so much better than the shuffle she had a week ago. In fact, I lunged her outside this weekend, and she was so happy she started cantering circles around me! It freaked the shit out of me and I begged her to slow down but she completed several laps before breaking to a trot and finally a walk. I was SOOO worried I had made her sore, but she was fine the next day. She is on a low dose bute regiment, along with glucosamine and MSM, and it seems to really help.

Sorry to ramble on...I know it's not exciting reading. For me, though? No matter how crappy the timing is financially, it's my dream come true to have her back with me. I've always regretted letting her go, even when I thought she was in the best of homes. This whole experience has convinced me that all of my animals will be with me forever, because no matter how careful you are you cannot make sure your babies are happy and healthy unless YOU are the one in charge of such things.

This mare took care of me for years and years, and carried me over countless fences and through miles of trails. I can never make up for the last few years of her life, but I'm damn sure going to try.

Chamie's Feets, and Riding in the Wind

It turns out, the pictures I tried to get of Chamie's feet don't really capture how bad they are, which is good news for all of you. I took these on Saturday, after 2 days of treating them with Thrush Buster. I also soaked all 4 feet in a Lysol/hot water/epsom salt mixture yesterday. I'll tell you, just the Thrush Buster alone has made a huge difference (that's the purple you see). A lot of that black shit I was able to just pick/scrape off after a treatment or two, which is great, and her frogs became much more prominent. Guess they didn't disappear after all! I didn't go out to see her today (wahhhh) to see how her feet look after the soaking, but I will be out tomorrow when she gets trimmed, HOORAY! So, without further ado:

Front feet. Not terribly overgrown, but they still look like they haven't been done in 3 months or so. Angles are awful, and she's obviously wearing the inside edges more and the outside edges are flaring. Also, it's hard to tell here, but her hoof wall doesn't come close to coming in contact with the ground. She's sort of teetering on this hardened "crud" that I tried to work on, but it's going to take more than a hoof pick.



Back feet. Here you can really see how the hoof wall is about a half inch off the ground. Just...bizarre. Keep in mind there is no crud in her feet-they were picked as clean as I could get them.



Right front. More frog is visible here than the first day I saw her, which was Thursday. Still, ew, right? I apologize for the quality of these pictures. She's still getting used to having her feet handled, and doing this by myself was a major challenge. You can see I couldn't even capture all the flare/overgrowth on the outside of this foot.



Left front, with my sleeve obscuring half her heel. Nice shot, Sarah. Still, you can kind of see more of the same. I still can't believe this is a CLEAN HOOF. Well, as clean as I could get it with a hoof pick and brush.

That's all I could get. My back is officially going to totally give out on me if I now have to handle and treat 8 frigging hooves almost everyday. Time for a pain management program for moi.

Now for Miles News!! It's been windy city here lately, but I so needed a good ride on my boy today I said the hell with it. It was beautiful and sunny-and the wind gusts were insane. I lunged him briefly (he was only a nut in the "scary end" of the outdoor arena, where there was farm equipment working in the field that was in ear and eye-shot). It's ok, because he needs to get used to that stuff, but combining that with the wind was too much, so I chickened out and rode him only on the "safe" side. Still, we had some very nice, very forward (ha ha!) work at all three gaits and we finished the ride by popping over our crossrail.

He's been great lately. We jumped a vertical last week. We've gone on trail rides with new friends. His coat is blooming and his weight is picture perfect. It's not great writing material, but it's great for me right now. I keep telling him he's going to be meeting his predecessor any day now, and how she's a super sexy older lady that he had better respect:) It would be great to pony her off Miles to get her into shape (assuming her feet get under control) before riding her. This from a girl who has never ponied a horse in my life (Hi Amanda! Want to teach me?;) My ultimate goal would be to have her available to go for trail rides when my parents or friends want to come out and ride. Either way, those two will be spending a whole lot of time together, so I hope my boy will be the gentleman I know he is almost all the time.

Happy Autumn everyone! Talk about change-it's everywhere I look these days.

Chamie's Big Day

Champagne on Ice (Chamie), 15.1 hh, 26 year old Appendix Quarter Horse Mare, looking lively and adorable.

Yesterday I saw my girl for the first time in 5 years. It was wonderful and sad, after learning (and seeing) everything she's been through in the last 5 years. I know it sounds crazy, but I KNEW something wasn't right for the last couple of years. Just a...nagging. I'd have occasional dreams about her. I never got a reply from the last email I sent the barn owner, and I really didn't like that. What do you do, though? The last time I saw her she was wonderful, stalled in the main barn where all the activity is, fawned over by little girls and being used lightly for lessons. The facility she lives at is one of the better known barns in the area, and I never dreamed she could be neglected there. She was a privately owned horse! I guess I'm just thankful I can do something now.

Her beautiful, still in great shape back. Looking at this reminded me of why I loved riding her bareback...soooo comfy.

She is in GREAT weight (though she was always an air fern, it's nice to see she still is at 26). Unfortunately, that's about the only good thing I can say about her condition. I talked to the barn manager, and found out she hasn't been vaccinated or dewormed in 5 years. Yes, you read that right. The BM has worked full time at this barn for almost 4 years, and has seen her owner once. Apparently, he paid her board up until last year, but never once paid for farrier or vet services. Her teeth must be disastrous. I don't know HOW she's been able to keep her weight with no dewormer...and the fact that she dropped mouthfuls of grass when I hand grazed her is not a good sign for the state of her chompers.

I really can't blame the barn too much, although I would have handled things differently for sure. The guy refused to give her away or try to sell her. They told him I would most likely take her, and still nothing. What do you do with someone like that? The barn is out literally thousands of dollars on her at this point. I have a feeling legal action was threatened and that's the ONLY reason he changed his mind, though that's just my own theory. What a guy, eh? Keep your horse a prisoner because-well, who knows why. I can't see both sides on this one, sorry.

Grazing after a loooong grooming session and haircut by moi. Her mane was crazy gross and scraggly. Also, how cute is she in pink? I'm so glad I can use that halter again. If she didn't have so much gray on her face you would never know she is 26, for reals.

Her feet...oh god, her feet were the worst. I almost started crying when I saw them. They are totally wrecked. Have you ever seen a horse with frogs that have disappeared? Does anyone know what causes this? I assume it's from excessive thrush, as what she DID have was black and stinky. Thank god I brought thrush buster with me. At one point she went 9 months without a farrier touching her feet. NINE MONTHS. The barn farrier started trimming her for free in the last few months I guess. At that point she was in so much pain she was laying down all the time. I just seethe when I think about that.

Her attitude, thank goodness, is still good, somehow. Especially considering she literally lives in a stall 95 percent of the time. Occasionally she goes in a stall with a 24 by 24 run attached. Student volunteers would hand walk her when they could, about twice a week it sounds like. She was a bit of a pill yesterday-very pushy, distracted, etc, but I don't blame her one bit. Once out of her stall it's like she feels she has to make the most of it:) However, I also went to see her today, and the attitude was almost non-existent. She nickered when she saw me and I almost lost it. My sweet girl is still there.

This was how most of my pictures looked. She just wants out out out. I'm just thankful she didn't give up and shut down completely.



So adorbs.

I lunged her briefly, almost all at the walk. Somehow, she shows little pain or short strided-ness unless she takes a tighter turn. Her trot is more of a stiff shuffle, however. I'm still very happy that even in her miserable state of horrid feet, no movement, and no bute or supplementation (well, up until last night when I brought some to the barn), she appears to be quite pasture sound. She is alert and bright and interested in her surroundings. All great things. My resilient girl.

Brief lunge. That barn has some AMAZING footing, I'll say that.

The barn has their vet and farrier out next week, thank goodness. She will need blood work, a Coggins pulled, vaccinations, teeth done, Panacur Power Pack (if I get the go-ahead from the vet), and a trim (if I think about how much all this is going to be I get a little dizzy. Goodbye unemployment check!). I really don't blame the farrier for her feet-god knows what he started working with, and he's been doing it for free. Also, as much as I believe in power-tool and sedation-free dentistry, I think hers are bad enough to warrant bringing out the big guns (and consequently, big dollars), though I won't know for sure until a professional looks at them.

She comes to my barn to meet Miles and company the first week in November. I'm so geeked, and I can't wait to have her home! In the meantime, I will be spending most of my days driving between two barns, and getting to Chamie as MUCH as possible. Knowing I'm her only escape from her stall is a lot of responsibility, but it's only a couple of weeks. Thank goodness, because I'm already feeling neglectful of a certain gorgeous dark bay thoroughbred. Luckily, I'm sure he would understand.

If anyone has experience with any of the issues I've listed, please feel free to chime in. This is a first for me. I'll also try to get some pictures of those lovely feet of hers. Do not eat when viewing, I'm just warning you now.

What Do You Do

...When, after a nice day at the barn, you get in your car and check your email, to find a message from the owner of the barn where your very first horse, very first Love, resides. The email says that your Love "has been abandoned, physically and financially", and asks if you can take your Love back?

...When you talk to your Love's barn owner, to find out her "owners" haven't been to see her in a few years, and haven't paid her board in a year? The barn owner has exhausted her contact with these "people" (I use this term loosely). They don't want her. The barn owner understandably can't continue to pay for her upkeep, with her own financial difficulties, and knows you have offered her a home before.

...When, further into the conversation, you learn your Love has little to no turnout. She is given the basics...food, water, vaccinations, hoof trimming, occasional hand-walking. She is arthritic. Barn owner does what she can, but it is not enough (her words). No bute, no supplements, little exercise. She hurts.

...What do you do, when you have no job (and no certain promise of a job, beyond a second interview in 2 days), and your husband is working part-time for a University?

...What do you do, when the fact is when you WERE working, you barely had enough time for your horse (you know, what's-his-name), your dogs, and everything else? Not to mention barely enough money?

...When you have not yet spoken to YOUR barn owner, or other barns in the area, or rescue groups, or explored retirement barn options? Or even your husband?

...What do you do?

...You agree to take your Love. You will make it work. Because if any horse deserves it, she does. Because you have to be the anecdote to the pond scum who abandoned a 26 year old horse with a heart of gold. Because there is literally no. other. choice.

Mama's coming, my Love. I'll see you tomorrow, and I can't wait. It will be ok.

It will be ok.

Day 3-Favorite Horse To Ride, Lease Or Own

Hi! Hello. How's it going? Miles and I are great...busy, but great. *note-Miles is not busy.

I've been working and working and doing long ignored house and yard stuff and trying to get to the barn and have neglected all blogging responsibilities, both reading and writing. Alas, those in Michigan and similar climates will understand that we have limited nice weather days, and I'll just be damned if I'm going to spend them inside, much as I love y'all.

Next post to be titled Look at all my new things!! New OTTB saddle pad and boots are gorgeous and fun and super functional, and it's so rare things live up to their billing. Also, we were published, woot!

Back to the title of this post....shall I wax on for 10 paragraphs about Miles again for you? Wouldn't that be fun and different and so out of character for me? No? Then I shall tell you about Chami, Best First Horse Ever.

I'm not going to lie, I didn't save up all my hard earned money to buy my first horse (I was 14-how much hard earned money could I have?). I DID however, work at Fox Brush, previously mentioned awesome barn, and when my parents moved out of the city they agreed to start "maybe" looking for a horse for me, since it was obvious the HB (Horse Bug) wasn't temporary.

You know how they say never to buy the first horse you look at? Terrible, ridiculous advice.

Because Chami (short for Champagne on Ice) was the VERY first horse I looked at. I still remember the first time I saw her, with her head peaking out of the stall. It was quiet and dark, a winter night in Michigan, and she was squinting her eyes against the lightbulbs. She was a solid bay appendix QH, 15.1 hands, 8 years old, wearing a navy cotton sheet. I loved her instantly.

A girl at the barn rode her first for me to see her movement, and she kept smiling as she trotted around the arena, saying over and over "This horse was made for you." She was.

We moved barns, but I continued to show at Fox Brush in their schooling shows and hunter paces. We did High School Equestrian Team. We took dressage lessons. We kicked ASS in the 4H County Fair jumper class (even though we never won anything else at fair-showmanship can bite me). My favorite show memory with Chami came after the jumper class when the judge called the competitors back to the ring before awarding ribbons. She said, among other things, that there were some horses she saw that made her want to start riding again. We won that class...though I don't know if I would have remembered it so well if that awesome judge hadn't given a bunch of ragamuffin kids some great feedback (like, ahem, do up your jacket before walking back into the ring to be addressed by the judge, Sarah, you slob). Anyway...good times.

Aside from the shows, I took Chami down countless roads, through trails, to county parks, over golf courses (awesome) and jumped her over just about everything including picnic tables. She was the best.

I, however, turned into a shitty college kid. I started riding once a week, if that. My heart was totally not in it anymore, and she was too good a horse and still too young to sit around. She became a (very occasional) lesson horse for the folks at our barn, Crestview Farm, where she lived most of her life with me. Then, sure enough, a young girl fell in love and bought her.

I saw Chami for the last time about 4 years ago, at a nearby barn where she had moved to. She was sleek and fat and happy. I emailed the barn every year or so just to see how she was-and don't think that when I wanted to start riding again, I didn't harass the new barn owner to see if there was any way she would be for sale. There wasn't. Isn't that the best, though? To hear your horse is so loved, there's no way she would be for sale again? I think so.

I didn't hear anything back on my last email...she would be 26ish now. I kind of don't want to follow up. I wish I would have kept her, even though I know everything worked out for the best. I would love to ride my old girl down a trail, her phobia of cows notwithstanding;) That was seriously her only fault. Well, that and refusing to load occasionally. Not too bad in the grand scheme.

Whatever happened to her, or didn't, I know she has had great homes her entire life. Her original owner before me is now our dog's vet. How great is that? We talk about her every time I see her. Everyone who knew Chami loved her, that's the truth.

The last time I went to see her, I asked a bunch of squealing little girls at the barn where Chami's stall was and they all instantly knew, helped me find her, and told me how sweet she was. I smiled because I knew. I know.

I know I've used this picture before, but it's the only digital one I have of her. Hey, it was the early 90's! My goal is to scan some old photos soon though, so hopefully more of me and my sweet Chami will be forthcoming. Seriously, though? How cute is she? Also note my flannel, dating us both.

"I'm Not A Thoroughbred Person..."

That's what I used to think, and I probably even said it out-loud occasionally. Of course, I've since re-evaluated this position, and I've even written a blog post to dismiss the notion. It would be really easy for me to say I was just a "Chamie" person (my first horse, a QH/TB, or appendix Quarter Horse), or an "Ebony" person (my first full TB) or a "Miles" person (no descriptor needed;). Their breeds were incidental.

For the longest time I've had this idea in my head that I like calm horses. Very sane. Not unpredictable-a horse you can have fun with. Certainly ex-racehorses are the last thing that come to mind when you're looking for a horse you can count on to keep you safe.

Well, I'm here to tell you that's wrong. Hear me out.

First of all, the fact that all 3 of the horses I've owned in my life were TBs or half-TBs should say something about my level of ignorance and denial. The reason for such denial is this-I'm not a confident rider. I know, none of us are supposed to admit that, but there it is. I work on it everyday, and you know what? So do lots and lots of other riders. I have no hard facts whatsoever, but most of us have had bad falls, injuries, or at the very least real scares in our work with these large beasties. The fear, if you want to call it that, is always there-something bad could happen.

Of course, that doesn't stop us now, does it? ;) Just because I have a nagging in the back of my head reminding me of my mortality doesn't mean I don't absolutely love riding. It's a weird push-pull; life is short, so do what you love and live in the moment. Then the old survival instinct kicks in.

Naturally, then, one might conclude, "Well, if you're going to ride, and you don't have all the confidence of let's say, Lucinda Greene (eventer extraordinaire), perhaps you should at least ride a horse that decreases your chance of death". I hear this attitude everywhere, from various places on the Internet to some people I board with. Give me a good old Quarter Horse any day, they say.

To that I say you take your Quarter Horse, I'll take my TB. While I may not be brimming with confidence, I can usually fake it when things get a little hairy and I really need to, for Miles' sake. My TB may be a little spooky at times, but he has never offered a buck or a rear under saddle. After he settled into the routine at the barn, which took him about a month, he has been nothing but a gentleman to deal with on the ground. More than that, he has been a delight to work around, and to work with. His heart, and his try, are something I've never encountered in any horse I've ever ridden. He's so happy when he knows he's been a good boy. He loves to work, and to learn new things. While he can be lazy, I can always fix that by engaging his big TB brain with something interesting. I've never used spurs and never done more with my whip than tap his shoulder. I've had him for over a year now, and without a trainer we've progressed and improved together.

And you know what? He's not the exception. While of course I think he's special and amazing, most TBs are more like him and less like...whatever it is that "non-TB" people think they are.

Is he sensitive? Absolutely, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have to be a good rider to ride him well. That same sensitivity, I believe, is also the reason we have bonded so well. We can read each other's needs to a certain extent and react accordingly. That sensitivity is also what keeps us safe in certain situations. I can't wait to see him in the woods-no, that's not a joke:)

Is he flighty and spooky occasionally? Sure. Still, it's very rare for him to spook, so rare that it's an event to blog about when it does happen. I've also found that I actually prefer this to a horse that offers a cow-hop or a buck when they don't feel like working on any given day. I honestly don't think Miles has ever considered such a thing-the only time I've seen him buck is when he's feeling good on the lunge (or he has sheath issues, ha ha).

Thoroughbreds, and OTTBs in particular do indeed have their own idiosyncrasies and quirks that other horses may not. Said another way, I don't think any other breed has their heart, their try, their love of "work"-why would you want to ride a horse that would rather be in the barn or their pasture? I dig the fact that Miles looks forward to hanging out with me, and he really is happiest in regular work. TBs require a light hand and a quiet ride, and experienced leadership above all. So, maybe they're not for everyone. Still, I wouldn't have This One any other way.

Yeah, I've used this pic before. Still, I loves it. Also, it was about 60 degrees warmer back then, siiiiigh.

Edited to add, in the harsh light of day: This post reads an awful lot like "Quarter Horses suck, TBs rule!" Sorry about that. I love me some Quarter Horses, really. This is a pro-TB post, not an anti-anything post.

Ahh, Eazy Dayz

I took this week off from work to stay home. This is monumental-not because I don't ever take time off (ask my boss, ha ha), but because my scheduled time off always revolves around a trip. Usually it's to the Upper Peninsula to see my husband's family, but in the past we've traveled with either Kyle's mom or dad to various parts of the Country (Arizona and the Florida Keys, most recently). We go to Buffalo, NY at least once or twice a year to watch the Bills play and tailgate our asses off (my dad is from Buffalo and gets season tickets every year). We also like to camp, either taking a long road trip out West or to New England, though it's been a couple years. We get around, is what I'm saying. And it's great, really. I've loved every excursion.



I have to say, though, this time I'm taking right now? To stay at home and read, RIDE, sleep, walk, piss away hours on the Internet...I am loving it! I feel like a 15 year old kid again, when I had no job (0k, I've ALWAYS had a job, but we were talking maybe 15 hours a week at the pet store), with looooooong summer vacation days, and the time stretched out before me like a sea of possibility.



Ha ha, that's so not true-time did stretch out before me, but all I HAD back then was time, and of course I assumed I always would. So, most days were spent sleeping in, on the phone, in the sun-and of course, at the barn.



The summer of my 15th year was one of the very best (you never realize it at the time though, do you?). I was too young to drive, which I hated but was actually great (no insurance payments, need for gas money, etc). Best of all, after 7 or 8 years of begging, my parents had bought me Chami earlier that year, my sweet lil' appendix Quarter Horse. We boarded her at Crestview Farm, which was about 3 miles from our house. I often took my bike to the barn and spent alllll day there-bathing her (she was cleaner than ANY of the show horses), cleaning tack, and riding, riding, riding. I joined 4H for the first time, and showed those whipper snappers a thing or two about jumping:) Chami and I rode with a small group of kids at the barn who had no fear of either horses or the law, and we were all over the place. You haven't lived until you've galloped over a golf course green (comical old men in plaid pants waving their clubs at you and everything) and gotten properly chewed out for it. There were races through wheat fields and encounters with stoners at the county park. Good times, good times.

Anyway, I've been thinking about that great summer these last few days, as I have the freedom to fill up my time with pretty much whatever I want. Surprise surprise, not much has changed-I cleaned horse blankets today, and tomorrow I can't wait to get to the barn and spend the day riding and giving my saddle a much needed oiling. Yes, I only have a week, and a week is not a summer. Then again, tomorrow is only Wednesday:)

I can't believe I haven't given this week of bliss to myself long ago. Still, I think my 15 year old self would be proud I finally wised up.

How Does One Become a Thoroughbred Person?

So, looking back on my previous blogs, it looks like I've started 90% of them with the word SO. This is the last one, if I have anything to say about it. If I slip, y'all are allowed fifty virtual lashings with a wet noodle.

Since I've started this blog, I have been absolutely OVERWHELMED by how much amazing writing there is on the interwebs about horses, dressage, OTTBs; I had NO idea, honestly. I've always been a slow learner, no doubt about that.

Anyway, it makes for great inspiration for blog topics-unless you guys want to hear more bitching about the weather, or maybe the bugs?? Yeah, I thought so.

I started riding at a hunter barn called Fox Brush Farm - A wonderful, non-snotty boarding/training facility, which emphasized safety over everything else. I started with weekly lessons, progressed to leasing horses and working there as much as I could, and then they helped me find Chami, best first horse ever.

Fox Brush had every breed of horse imaginable, though most of the lesson horses were Quarter Horses, Appaloosas, Paints or crosses thereof. Thoroughbreds? They were for the advanced riders ONLY, or they were training horses. I might lead them to and from their pastures, but none of the kids (I was there from ages 7 to 14) actually RODE them. I don't think that's so unusual either-a lot of people seem to start off their riding careers with similar experiences. Of course the Thoroughbreds were ridiculously beautiful, but they seemed so...HARD to me, with their athletic bodies and gorgeous heads that were usually perched on long, sinewy necks held high, high in the air. I had never been a rider brimming with confidence, so it was totally fine by me to keep riding the other horses, while leaving the "hard bodies" to people with more drive and experience while I admired them from afar.

Of course, when I (cough *my parents* cough) bought Chami when I was 14, she was technically an Appendix Quarter Horse (TB/QH cross). Let me tell you though, that mare sure looked and acted all QH. She was gorgeous to me, but she had that big 'ol QH butt and was an air fern-looking at food too long was not good for her waistline. Even at only 8 years old, she was a steady-eddy almost always, unless she saw a herd of cows (Serious cow-phobia. No horse is perfect). Anyway, I figured she was a fluke and got most of her QH mama and little to none of her TB daddy. Naturally, anytime she acted like a ninny I blamed it on the TB side:)

I didn't begin my voyage to being a "Thoroughbred Person" until I adopted Ebony a few years ago. Old stereotypes about TBs still danced in my head at that point. Granted, she was in her mid to late teens, and about as easy a keeper as you could find, but she was DEFINITELY a TB. Very, very sensitive and opinionated...you had to WORK for her respect. However, she didn't really have a serious spook in her, which was why I adopted her (well, the "free" price tag helped;). Again, I never was nor will I ever be brimming with unbridled confidence. She could balk, she could buck, she could be mad as hell at me...but man, when we finally figured each other out (I stopped forcing her to live in a stall half the day and do arena work ALL the time, and she figured out I wasn't going to tear her mouth off or beat her up for doing something bad, although she also couldn't get away with doing whatever she wanted-I think she had seen it all before me!), we had such great, great rides together. She was never overly-lovey, so any little gesture she offered me was pretty cool. She kept me thinking, always, when I was with her. After Eb, how could I go back to the stock horses? ;)

Enter Miles, who I'm obviously totally smitten with. After Eb's passing, I looked on DreamHorse and some other sites for horses of all breeds, but the sites I kept going back to (and the horses that inevitably caught my interest the most) were, you guessed it, Thoroughbreds. After reading Miles' New Vocations profile and watching his video, I couldn't think of any reason NOT to go see him. Also, at an adoption price of $400-come on, I'm still pretty sure I got away with highway robbery.

Of course, he was everything I wanted, and everything I didn't know I wanted. Now he is NOT perfect...I'm still a little ticked at him for dumping me back in March when he gave just enough of a spook to put me off balance, and then would not simply WHOA so I could right myself, but that's another blog! Mostly, he has become my best friend, who lets me know exactly where I stand. He's so, so excited to see me when I come out to the barn-when I get out of the car and he can see it's me-well, I'd really like to get it on video some day:) He can be lazy but will never be the kind of horse you have to nag or really get after to be forward. He listens to me on our rides and even if he doesn't understand something the first time, once he really "gets it", he gets it for good. Smarty Pants. He can get anxious but gives me the benefit of the doubt that I won't ask him to go somewhere or do something unsafe or that we can't handle together. He looks to me to keep him safe. He is mouthy and obnoxious. He's my boy:)

So am I a Thoroughbred person? I suppose I am. I still want my Andalusian one day! Also, I will never be super excited to ride a spooky, reactive horse-though one great thing I've learned is that OTTBs are often MUCH less spooky than other horses, because they have SEEN and LIVED through the kind of loud, high-stress environments that would cause a full-on meltdown in many other horses.

I think a lot of horse people would tell you a TB's heart can't be beat (har har), and usually they are talking about their courage as athletes. Of course they ARE athletic-and though as a lowly pleasure rider this has never been my #1 priority, I admit I love Miles' gorgeous muscle-butt, and his awesome, solid yet gracefully long neck. "Heart" is more than athleticism and the courage to tackle a cross-country course, though-it's also that joie de vivre! A love of living, and curiosity in all things-from your pasture mate to your handlers to that crazy girl who comes out and rides you and babbles at you and keeps kissing your forehead. Man, Miles has that in SPADES, and I think a lot of Thoroughbreds do too.

Yeah, count me in. I'm a Thoroughbred person.

I wish I could capture a picture that does him justice one day...the big pic at the top of this blog is the closest I've got, and I didn't take it! Still, this face is what gets me, every time I see it.




What about you? Is there a breed that you naturally gravitate to, or are you more individual-horse specific? If you have a favorite breed, what about that breed "gets" to you, or do you love most? I love hearing what other people's passions are, and why!

A History in Horses

I've been riding since I was 7. I started off at a wonderful hunter barn, taking lessons and leasing horses, where I learned to jump small fences and show in the occassional schooling show. Everyone should start with such a solid foundation. I finally convinced my parents to buy me a horse when I was 14. She was a plain bay appendix Quarter Horse mare, small, could jump to the moon and was everything I needed. Her name was Champagne on Ice (I know, I know...we called her Chami). She carried me through high school, equestrian team, 4-H, hunter paces, hunter shows and even a parade. She was a perfect first horse, and the kind of jewel I couldn't appreciate until later, although I certainly did love her very much, and still do.

I lost myself somewhere in my early 20's and sold her for one dollar to the people that owned the boarding barn she lived at...I thought she would be much happier as a little girl's love, and I was right, at the time. My own issues did not bode well for horse ownership. Looking back, I'm still not sure what happened to me.

In my late 20's I got my stuff together (well, it's a work in progress), and of course I again became obsessed with horses and riding and wanted my mare back. She was in her 20's by then and owned sure enough by a girl who loved her, just as it should be. I thus began my search to buy my first horse as an adult.

I found Ebony 3 years ago, very soon after starting dressage lessons. She was 18 years old, black, and the definition of a opinionated mare. I loved her, and no matter her mood swings, she was never spooky or dangerous (though she had definite opinions about things, no doubt, and I'll admit in the beginning she scared me sometimes). I actually acquired her via a "Lifetime Lease" from a rescue organization which I signed before even riding her...in fact, she had not been ridden for over a year when I stepped into the picture. I kept her at an amazing dressage barn for the first 3 months, and thank goodness got a solid foundation with which to work with her. I owned and loved Eb for almost 2 years, and the day I got a call from the barn that she was injured was one of the worst of my life. It was a freak thing, but that didn’t change the fact that her leg was shattered. I watched her as they humanely euthanized her, and it was horrible and beautiful. She had amazing grace, and was a force to be reckoned with right to the end.

About a month later, I found Miles. It doesn't seem right or fair that I found my "heart horse" so soon after Ebony's death and the guilt still gets me from time to time. I cannot deny however, that after a very rocky first month together, Miles has become a true part of me in a way that no horse has before. It's hard to explain...it's more than the nickers of recognition and the sweet horse breaths he gives me. He is my partner in every sense that a horse can be. My other half in this life, as animals go (my lovely husband is ridiculous in his support and I think would understand this sentiment). Miles is my link to my better self, the mystical and serene. I know, barf. Still. He’s amazing. I've been privilaged enough to own and ride some great horses in my life, so I don't say these things lightly. You can see Chami with my 15 year old self (I swear I don't bleach my hair any longer) on the left and Ebony on the right. I still miss my girls.